


For You I could Pretend like I was Strong when I was Hurt

by tiff_aud



Series: NCT [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, M/M, Mental Breakdown, NCT Dream Ensemble Are Best Friends, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Na Jaemin-centric, OT7 NCT Dream, Panic Attacks, Protective Lee Taeyong, Protective NCT Ensemble, Sad Na Jaemin, Soft NCT Dream, Soft Na Jaemin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiff_aud/pseuds/tiff_aud
Summary: Jaemin knows that he is the pillar of the Dream unit. The parent of the unit. He always enjoyed that role. But even he have his own problems and limits.He knows he should ask for help. For support. For comfort. But who says that Jaemin was going to give up that easily?Especially with the newest Dream manager.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Na Jaemin & Everyone, Na Jaemin/Everyone, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: NCT [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200380
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda had this idea for a long time now and had written some of it down already.  
> This story is not beta read.  
> Please leave a comment for what you think of this story.  
> Thanks for reading! :>

Jaemin knows that he is the pillar of the Dream unit. The parent of the unit. He always enjoyed that role. He loves his members, constantly cuddling the youngest for hours at a time. Ever since Donghyuck and Mark had moved to the 127 dorm, the four remaining occupants (Jeno, Renjun, Jisung, and Jaemin) had gotten much closer. Although Chenle didn’t live in the dorm, he sometimes slept over at the dream dorm, where there were several empty bedrooms.

Although the rest of the members had gotten closer, there was no denying the empty hole in their conversations with Donghyuck and Mark. Of course, the duo constantly visited the members. But as it got close to the end of 2020, with the new promotions of the Resonance Album, the entire NCT unit had gotten more and more busy. Even though Mark and Donghyuck had returned to their original dorm, they barely had time for one another. 

~

It was a cloudy day when the new manager arrived. Rim Taeyang was in his mid thirties, and was rather tall, with straight black hair. Daeyang was accompanied by another of their managers, Kim Dong-sun, or also known as Dong-sun hyung. 

The first time Jaemin layed eyes on Daeyang, he realised that the manager was rather cheerful and had a rather calm aura around him. The rest of NCT Dream immediately gravitated towards him, bombarding the new manager with questions and introductions, whereas Jaemin stood off to the side, smiling softly at the antics of his team members… no his family. 

After shaking each of the member’s hands, and the rest of the members had disappeared continuing what they were doing before, Jaemin noticed that he was the only one with the new manager. Making eye contact with the new manager, the young Korean idol shivered at the strange glint in the elder’s eyes. The younger shook it off, telling himself that he was just paranoid. 

As Jaemin laid on his back that night, staring at the ceiling of his room, he could hear the laughter coming from the living room. His members had stayed up and watched a movie with Daeyang as a welcome ceremony for him. The third youngest had made an excuse of being too tired. He realized… his spot in NCT Dream may be jeopardized. 

~

A manager always stays in the Dream dorm. Three managers switching in and out a full 24hr at a time. The first time Daeyang had his shift, the youngest members immediately went towards him. The manager was calm, laidback and even kind. He is funny, even managing to make Renjun laugh with the horrible jokes. He lets them get away with eating junk food and stirring up trouble. He never complains when they act immature, in fact, he plays along with them the majority of the time, while still maintaining his position as manager. 

Meanwhile, Jaemin sat a few meters away from the chaos. 

~

That night, the rest of the members had their movie night with Daeyang, while Jaemin stayed in his single room, practicing his steps for Ridin. It was November, meaning that the MAMAs were coming up, and NCT Dream had to perform Ridin. Not only that, but he had to perform Make A Wish, Work It, and of course, the iconic Resonance. 

An hour later, he was too tired to even move his hands thus he dragged himself towards his bed, effectively closing the window covers and lights.  
Jaemin felt someone shake his shoulder. He heard a whispered “Hyung.” Immediately, his eyes snapped open. As the parent of the group, he knew what the youngest maknae wanted from him. 

Sitting up on his bed, all the while stifling his yawns and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he patted the spot next to him, gesturing for Jisung to climb onto bed. Jisung cautiously climbed onto the bed, closing his eyes as he placed his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. 

“What is it Jisung-ya?” Jaemin asked, eyes glancing at the electronic alarm clock that showed the numbers 04.00. 

“I had another nightmare, hyung. It was so terrifying. I can’t sleep.” Jisung sobbed quietly into Jaemin’s shoulder. Jisung was not a loud crier. He was more of the quiet type, with soft sobs. The only sign of distress was the trembling of the entire body, proving just how hysterical and upset the boy actually felt. 

Jaemin knew about Jisung’s constant nightmares. Jisung told him the first few times about being constantly chased by gunshots and the walls enclosing around him. Of how it felt as if water was filling his lungs, not allowing him to breathe. 

The elder slightly shifted his position, so the two were lying on the bed on their sides, with Jisung’s face curled in the elder’s chest. 

“Shh, it’s okay baby. Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin comforted Jisung, while running his hands through Jisung’s recently dyed brown hair. 

As much as Jisung would deny later, he adored it when Jaemin treated him like this. Like a caring older brother. The rest of his hyungs were busy with their own work, whereas Jaemin would pause whatever he was doing just to please or even to play with Jisung. 

“I-I don’t know hyung. It was the usual nightmare. I always thought it would get better, but it didn’t.” Jisung said, his voice muffled through the fabric of Jaemin’s top pyjamas. 

“It will get better, baby. No one will hurt you when I’m with you.. Okay?” 

Jisung couldn’t help but relax under the soothing tone of the older. Even though the older was a rapper, his voice could definitely rival a vocalist. And if Jisung was being honest, when the interviewer asked who had the best voice in NCT Dream, Jisung would answer Jaemin. Heck if the interviewer asked in the entire NCT, Jisung would still choose Jaemin. 

“Let’s talk about something else? How was the movie earlier?” Jaemin asked, quickly changing the subject. 

Immediately Jisung launched into a long speech about the movie, whereas Jaemin interrupted a few times to ask questions. 

Even though he didn’t get enough sleep, he definitely helped the youngest maknae. When several sunrays began to peek through the black curtains, Jisung began to make his way back to his room, but not before giving Jaemin a tight hug and a whispered ‘Thank You’. 

Jaemin stood up. Walking towards his cupboard, he threw on his grey hoodie and black jeans, before heading out to the kitchen to make breakfast. Glancing at the clock he realizes that today NCT Dream was having a dance rehearsal. The first dance practice with the newest manager. Jaemin couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. He didn't know why. It was as if... something terrible was going to happen that day.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Jaemin made a huge mistake..

Stepping out of the black company car, Jaemin took a sip of his black iced americano. The young korean idol group were ushered through the company doors to prevent from being noticed by fans. Luckily it was an early morning on a Sunday, thus everyone was still sleeping. (Jaemin needed at least 20 minutes just to wake the rest of the members up). 

The studio that they were occupying was rather spacious, enough to fit up to thirty people. Yet, only six people are using it. Mark was not participating in ‘Ridin’ and ‘Boom’, so he decided to go visit the NCT 127 dorm. 

He placed down his coffee and backpack on one of the many tables at the back of the room, where the stereos were placed. Giving the room a glance, he noticed Daeyang was off to the corner, scrolling through his phone. Donghyuck and Renjun were busy arguing once again, with Jeno as the peacemaker this time. Chenle and Jisung were laughing about something on Chenle’s phone. 

~

Dance practice was awkward, especially with Daeyang sitting at the side of the room surveying the dance unfolding in front of him. Under the older’s intense and evaluating gaze, Jaemin found himself stumbling on a few spots. Getting frustrated with the step, he shook his hair, causing it to be more messier. 

Everyone was getting tired, Jaemin could see. Renjun and Jeno weren’t doing well either. It had been a long while since they had practiced the dance. Finally Daeyang couldn’t take it anymore and dismissed them. Donghyuck gave the rest of the members a small smile before heading out, stating that he was going to meet up with Mark. Jisung and Chenle quickly excused themselves and headed out to watch a movie. 

Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, and Daeyang were the only one in the studio. The first two were continuously practicing their part in the dance. Jaemin glanced at the clock. 13:00. As what a good member would do, Jaemin ordered them some takeout from the nearby restaurant, forcing his members to eat.  
“But Jaemin-ah. I’m not hungry.” Jeno complained, while Jaemin dragged him to the table.

“You’re going to over exhaust yourself. At least eat something before practicing again.” Jaemin scolded the two with a stern gaze. 

The NCT members knew that even though Jaemin was a normally kind person, when he gets angry, you better hope you run faster than him. Eventually the filled plastic containers were empty as Jeno and Renjun headed to the front of the mirror and started practicing their dances. 

This time Jaemin joined them and gave them advice on how to improve their dance. By 15:00, the trio managed to get the hang of the steps. Jaemin had to stay back for Make A Wish dance practice at 15:30. 

“Make sure that you guys buy takeout tonight instead of cooking instant ramen. Jisung has been eating too much ramen, and so did Chenle. Don’t worry about me, I’ll buy something on my way home.” Jaemin reminded the elders, telling them that he had Make A Wish practice. 

After saying their goodbyes, Jaemin sat at the table at the back of the studio, putting down on his earphones and playing some EXO Songs. 

Several minutes later, loud footsteps could be heard walking across the studio, standing right in front of Jaemin. 

Jaemin slowly raised his head only to be met with the furious face of Daeyang. 

“You did horrible today.” 

Just 4 simple words. Yet Jaemin felt rather annoyed. 

“What do you mean I did horribly? Jeno and Renjun were also struggling with the choreo. I wasn’t the only one.” Jaemin couldn’t help but snap back, and he felt a harsh blow on his face. 

Slowly raising his hands to the bruised cheek, he glanced up at Daeyang who had a rather satisfied look.

“You just hit me.” Jaemin said blankly. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have had to hit you if you just got your shit together and learned respect.” Daeyang retorts aggressively. Jaemin ignores him. He looks the man in the eye.

“You just hit me,” he says again, this time more emotion seeping into his voice. Suddenly, Daeyang looks nervous and rather scared. Jaemin’s hand was still resting on his warm, stinging cheek.

“Listen here,” Daeyang begins, sounding more uncomfortable, “No one hears about this, okay?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Jaemin said, sounding much more confident than he was. Jaemin silently thanked the gods that his voice didn’t betray him. “Why shouldn’t I tell someone?” He knew he now had the upperhand in this argument.

“If you did, who would even believe you over me, a korean idol over a manager? That sounds pathetic. Also, I could so easily go and find someone else in this group. You wouldn’t want that, would you? Chenle and Jisung would look pretty with bruises on them...” The man says, feigning innocence. Jaemin feels a surge of protectiveness overtake him.

“No. Touch anyone else and I will kill you,” he snarls at the older man. Daeyang just laughed at that.

“Great, so I guess that means as long as you don’t tell anyone what will happen, I will not touch any of the other members?” 

Jaemin hesitated, but he cares about his friends too much. He nodded, his only thoughts were to protect his members. 

“Then you will have extra dance and singing practice with me.” Daeyang smirked, crossing his arms, staring down at Jaemin. 

“Fine.” Jaemin finally replied. 

Anything for his family.

~

The Make A Wish practice goes on without any further problems. All Jaemin could think about was the deal he had made with Daeyang earlier. He knew that he shouldn’t have made the deal, and instead talked to someone, but he cared for his members too much. 

Luckily the members did not notice anything off and the rest of the practice went smoothly. 

~

The next day was a Sunday. A.K.A NCT Weekly Dinner. 

Jaemin didn’t sleep a whole night. The first reason was that he was busy thinking about the deal he made with the devil. Secondly, Jisung had another nightmare, so another night was wasted talking with the maknae. 

As he was about to head out to cook breakfast for the entire Dream unit, his phone screen lit up, signalling that he had received a message. Holding his phone up, he looked at the text. It was from the devil itself. 

Daeyang:  
You have extra dance practice later at 13:00. You better be at the studio by that time. 

Glaring at the name, he simply typed an ‘OK’ before turning his phone off. He placed his phone in his black backup. Walking out the door, he noticed that everyone else except for Jisung (who was watching his phone in the living room) was still asleep. Grabbing several eggs from the fridge, he enjoyed the peace and tranquility. He knew that the peace would be shattered by the time Chenle or Donghyuck woke up, but before that, he had decided to relax. 

Jisung decided to help Jaemin halfway through his cooking, helping the elder carry the cooked eggs to the dining table. Even helping with making the pancake batter. Luckily, nothing was spilled, caught on fire, or even burnt, a first for Jisung. 

A few minutes later, Mark arrived downstairs to the kitchen, constantly yawning, stirring his tea. 

“Hey Jaemin, you’re still going to the Weekly Dinner right?” Jisung asked out of nowhere. Jaemin nearly dropped the plates filled with pancakes. 

The Weekly Dinner was a tradition that was started by Taeyong. It started since the original members debuted in 2016. At first, the weekly dinners were at a restaurant, but Chenle had offered them to use his house... mansion. 

The dinner was sort of a freedom, there were no managers there. Just a bunch of adults gathered around the long dining table enjoying food cooked by either Taeyong, Kun, or Jaemin. 

“Yes of course I will. But maybe I’ll be late or something. I’m not sure. I have practice later at 1.” Jaemin explained, setting down the plate on the neatly made dining table. He grabbed his mug and made himself a cup of coffee with sugar. 

Mark and Jisung glanced at each other, worried for Jaemin’s consumption of sugar and coffee. It was no secret that Jaemin had a serious addiction for coffee, yet he hadn’t drunk that much coffee since July. It was nearly the end of October 2020, but he has started relying on coffee and sugar. 

Jaemin noticed their looks before hastily saying, “I have practice later, I can’t be too tired.” 

Jisung and Mark accepted the excuse before chatting about another topic. 

A close call, but Jaemin wondered when the truth would be revealed.


End file.
